Happy Siblings Day!

Today, April 10, is National Siblings Day so I want to celebrate by sharing a little video I made for the DVD set about the Silverstone Sisters in The Gift Bearer.

***This video contains SPOILERS.  You have been warned.***

In Memoriam - Christopher Stasheff

One year ago Sine Fine Films lost one it’s most dedicated and supportive members when Christopher Stasheff passed away.  

I would have written this a year ago but it was too difficult because Chris wasn’t just a member of SFF, he was my father and in his way he helped create this little production company. 

In the summer of 1996 I decided to make a movie.  It’s a long story about how it all happened, but the point is that it did. Chris taught television and radio broadcasting for over 20 years, yet he never tried to tell me how to do it he just waited for me to ask for help.  After the first day of filming he typed up a tape log so I could write down the takes and be all professional (I didn’t really care at the time so I only did one sheet). He didn’t give me any other hints or tips or anything, but quietly supported me whenever I needed his help.

Most of all he showed me how to edit with two VCRs, taught me how to mix in music with a small audio system we had, and helped me fix equipment when it broke. He also finally supported the first film as needed (which wasn’t much).  After I began filming the second movie (Destiny II), he knew I was hooked on making movies and wanted to help me become a better cinematographer.  He almost always watched the rushes with me (the footage from that day).  

While watching footage from one scene in particular he made an annoyed sound and said “keep moving, more to the left, a little more”.  I didn’t understand, I just said “I can’t do anything about it now.”  He explained how moving the camera more to the left would frame a better shot and I suddenly saw what he meant.  “I know you can’t change it now”, he said “but remember it for the future.” 

The next day he gave me a tutorial on how to compose different shots and I saw him as his students saw him for the first time that I could remember.  As an artist it changed my world.  I love composing cool shots (although I don’t do it as often now), and I even take better photographs of every day events because of his teaching. 

That Christmas he helped me purchase my first video camera – Horatio – telling me what to look for in a camera, helping me find the right one, and paying for half of it. Horatio is now 22 years old and I long ago stopped using him to film my movies, but he actually still works. Chris helped me choose one hell of a camera!

When we began filming in 1996 almost all of the actors were under 18 (including myself) and he appointed himself the on set guardian.  He would come to all the film shoots where another adult would not be present and sit in the background reading a book (or writing one on his laptop).  He was on hand in case anything went wrong and since we were filming in places like a church hall and a movie theater, the people in charge liked having an adult there (understandably).  

He continued in that roll until I was old enough to be the on set guardian for everyone.  I didn’t really understand or truly appreciate the importance of that role until much later, but he did and took it on without a word of complaint.  Chris supported my filming in every way and was always looking out for me and the other actors. He drove us all when we needed a driver and car. 

He also worked crew or took on a part whenever I needed someone.  Whether it was holding an umbrella over the camera while we filmed in the rain for King of Elflin’s Daughter, teaching me about B-roll and Pick up shots for Perfect Combination, or playing a priest in Destiny, and an extra in Pandora’s Box when I needed people for the background of a tavern scene, Chris was always willing to jump on set and help out.

During the filming of Mind Games he always assisted in teaching the director (my brother Edward) about filming as well and was ready to be a crew member when we needed someone to help operate fans, light flash paper, handle props, and other things. 

 Chris was such a talented actor that I wanted to see him do more in SFF productions, so I wrote a role for him in Pandora’s Box.  He was happy to oblige, since he loved to act.  Knowing how great an actor he was and how much of a ham he could be on stage, I had fun writing the part, picturing him playing the character the whole time. 

In episode 15, a ghost appears and is haunting the rebel base.  Since the base is actually a theater, I made it the ghost of a director from long ago.  Being an actor and director himself, Chris was perfect in the role. In one of the many books he wrote there is an old thespian named Horace, so I named the ghost in Pandora’s Box Horace Gandergelder as an homage to his Company of Stars series.  I even put in a reference to them in one scene. You can tell he had a lot of fun playing the character and gave the performance his all. 

I had never worked with someone who had all his lines memorized and never once got them wrong, or flub, or had any bloopers at all.  We filmed all his lines and parts in a quarter of the time it would take to film anyone else.  He was such a professional (and totally made the others look bad). 

Chris was also a professional author who had written over published over 40 novels and short stories, edited multiple anthologies, written plays and even had a PhD in Theater.  I was always very proud of my father and I even asked if I could use one of the characters he created in his books.My father created a priest character who was canonized when he martyred himself for the sake of keeping an international television broadcast of the Pope from going off the air.  

Saint Vidicon was the patron saint of television and technology and fought against the perversion of Murphy (as in Murphy's Law).  He became so popular that he even got his own book called St. Vidicon to the Rescue (my dad even let me co-wrote a chapter for it!)  When I was writing Episodes 8-10 of Pandora's Box I decided to throw in a tech monk named Brother Robert who was from the Order of Saint Vidicon. Chris actually really enjoyed the character and loved his costume. 

During my college years I moved to Southern IL and he moved to New Mexico to teach television at ENMU, so he wasn’t able to be an actor or crew on any of the productions during those years, but he still supported me however he could and eagerly watched each production when it was finished.

His final role as an actor for SFF was in Episode 10 of Eidolon when he played the overworked Urshanabi, the ferryman of the dead in Mesopotamian mythology.  In Eidolon he’s in charge of boat rentals for crossing to and from the Spirit World. He didn’t really have a costume so he just stuck some weeds behind his ears and for some reason decided to use a Jersey accent.  He added a lot of lines that were not in the script and was so hysterical he won an award for Best Actor in a Bit Part. 

Even later on when he wasn’t doing well physically he still came to all the SFF Holiday and Anniversary Parties he could attend, and was still eager to watch (and sometimes re-watch) any of the productions made over the years. There are over a hundred members of Sine Fine Films, but few have done both acting and crew and few have done more than Chris did for this company.  

More than just a member of the cast and crew, he was one of the most loyal fans of the movies, shorts, and shows.  Sine Fine Films would not have existed without him. 

So, we at SFF say a huge thank you and a fond, but sad farewell to this wonderful, amazing man.  

Thank you Christopher Stasheff, for all you did. Your memory will live on and your legacy of television (and teaching) will continue. 

Sine Fine Siblings - Characters

Once in a while I’ll be doing “special posts” about different things not covered under the other categories. These posts will usually be on the Monday or Tuesday of a month that has fives weeks instead of four or on a holiday of some kind.  I guess I don’t need to explain all that, but, you know…whatever.  

Today, April 10, is National Siblings Day so I want to take a little time to celebrate the siblings in Sine Fine Films.  If I talked about all of them this post would go on forever because there are a LOT of sibling sets. Several people voted for their favorite sibling characters, so I’ll just talk about the Top 5 in reverse order.

***This post contains SPOILERS.  You have been warned.***

#5. Amelia & Dawn from Twisted Tales: Hulde

This is the only script with siblings that I did not write.  It was written by Diana Neatrour, who has two siblings herself, so she knows the gig.  It’s based on a fairytale – Mother Hulde – and fairytales are stuffed full of siblings. Brothers, sisters, stepsisters, half brothers, and all kinds of combinations exist in these stories. In the original tale of Mother Hulde it was a typical set of sisters – the good, kind, helpful sister and the evil, lazy, stupid sister.

Diana’s main twist on this fairytale was changing the moral of the story as well as the personalities of the sisters. Amelia, played by Julia Mayfair, is the older one and wasn’t evil or lazy and was in fact very smart.  She didn’t accept the rules the magical character of Hulde set up – or rather found a clever way around them.  For example she used a dishwasher to wash dishes rather then scrubbing them by hand with a toothbrush, or calling a woodchopper to cut up a huge pile of wood rather than wrestling with an ax and potentially hurting herself.

 Dawn, played by Annamarie MacLeod, is the younger sister and a rather foolish person who did exactly as she was told to do – or tried to - and would have been in the magic world a lot longer finishing up the tasks without the help of her sister.  In the end both girls are rewarded but Amelia’s reward allows her to pull anything she wants from a magical bag while Dawn’s reward allows her to pull anything someone else wants from the bag.  The moral of the story is clear – thinking for yourself is better then just following orders blindly and thinking smarter is better than working harder. The sisters are a typical pair with a relationship where the older one tolerates the younger one but has clearly had to help her out most of their lives.

#4. Caden & Courtney Caldwell from C²

I’m so glad this pair made the Top 5 because I love them so much.  Brittany Ann Whalen and Syndi Eller play the pair to perfection.  The two sisters work as bounty hunters for an organization called the Erinyes Agency that are sort of like a police force for rogue and criminal magic users.  The usually work for the Office of Retrievals in the Criminally Cute Division and are known as some of the best bounty hunters in the business.

Throughout the film they work to capture a clever and rebellious magical creature known as Kasimir.  He thinks he has the upper hand the whole time, especially after he manages to handcuff the pair together, but in the end their teamwork and experience allow them to capture him and they prove to be just as devious as he is, if not more.

They are clearly best friends as well as sisters.  Although Caden is the older one (by three years), Courtney seems to be the one in charge.  However, they know each other so well that they can switch off who plays the bad ass and who plays the ditz so they probably switch up who is in charge just as often.  Like all siblings, they squabble at times but trust and rely on each other and are as close as sisters can be.

The actors had a blast with the characters and came up with a lot more details for them then what was in the script.  For example, neither one has a love life, they still live at home, and for some reason (that I was never quite clear on) they share both a room and a bed. They also mention a brother, Cameron, who clearly has a better love/sex life then either of them considering that he apparently stole their whips.

#3. Esteban & Balthazar from the Destiny Trilogy/Mini-series

Ah, the age-old tale of siblings who hate each other and spend their lives seeking revenge. Although technically speaking they are only half-brothers.  Their father brought them to live together just so that Balthazar could beat up Esteban and he could create and nurture their hatred for each other. Yeah, their dad was a real piece of work.

Esteban and Balthazar, played by Tanino Minneci and Jacob MacLeod, are as different as day and night.  Esteban is introverted, mild-mannered, intelligent and scholarly while Balthazar is a dashing, extroverted ladies’ man who enjoys the finer things in life and loves to fight.  Esteban is shy, especially around women, and when they were younger Balthazar loved to steal away any woman that Esteban showed interest in.  Esteban, however, is the legitimate son and heir to the Dukedom while Balthazar is the bastard son of a peasant.

Balthazar despises Esteban and blames him for their father’s death.  When he murders Esteban’s best friends their brotherly feud becomes an all out war that leads to multiple battles and ultimately their own deaths. I’d go into more detail, but their relationship is covered pretty well in their character profiles if you want to learn more about Esteban and Balthazar.

#2. Asarai & Lily/Leona from The Dragon & The Unicorn

“From the beginning of time they were fated to battle each other. Woe to those whose fates were intertwined with theirs for no rest would they find until one of them was destroyed. The Dragon, Asarai the Evil, can never die. The Unicorn, Leona the Good, can die but is reborn a century later to resume the fight. Death is impossible unless one of the sisters can harness the power of both medallions.”

This movie has a very epic, mythological feel with a pair of sisters at the heart of it. Asarai and Leona, played brilliantly by AnnamarieMacLeod and Nina Samii, were born cursed because of the foolishness of their parents.  They were each given an amulet at birth that decided both their personalities and their fates.  So from the very beginning these sisters got screwed.  Seriously. They were literally fated from birth to battle each other, regardless of their personal feelings. 

Although they are fraternal twins, Asarai is technically the older one. Since she can’t die she is actually much older than her sister in the end. Asarai definitely gets the raw end of the deal because she’s fated to be evil and, although she enjoys it for the most part, being wicked gets old after a while – and we’re talking thousands of years.  She is justifiably upset that she was fated to be evil and is basically a vampire and in the end she isn't so much defeated as she just gets tired of being alive.

Leona, the younger and “good” sister, is constantly reborn and has no memory of the fight until her eternal mentor finds her, gives her the amulet, and trains her to battle Asarai. The movie focuses on Leona’s current incarnation, a teenager named Lily, who has no idea what’s going on but keeps having dreams about fighting this other woman in different time periods.

Their relationship has so many layers to it and there are times when (especially in the past) Leona’s actions are not as good and Asarai’s are not as evil – specifically when it comes to the love of both their lives, JJ.  JJ, aka Julius, becomes caught up in their eternal battle as part of a love triangle. Before the sisters both fell in love with him they fought just because they had to, but after dragging JJ into their pre-destined battle (where he gets reborn like Leona) they fight over him. 

Leona totally stole JJ from Asarai, who fell in love with him first, and even though Leona forgets about it every time she is reborn, Asarai never forgets and her hatred for her sister festers over time.  Whenever Leona is reborn, she and JJ always find each other and fall in love again while Asarai has to watch it happen over and over, for two thousand years.  It’s a complicated story and probably one of my best.

#1. The Silverstone Siblings from The Gift Bearer

It’s not surprising that the Silverstone Siblings won by a landslide because it’s a trio of sisters that are the main characters and family is at the heart of the show. Since it’s a TV show we get to see the sisters – and later their brother – grow and change and their relationships evolve over the course of 21 episodes.  It’s also interesting to note that The Gift Bearer is one of the only three productions with a set of siblings that include both sisters and brothers.  All the other productions have either sisters or brothers, but not both.

Atlanta, played by Christine Komiskey, is the oldest sister and is an athletic, take-charge kind of girl who has a lot of anger issues.  Minerva, played by MorganThomas, is the middle sister who is extremely intelligent, very eccentric, and rather goofy at times.  Persephone, played by Brittany Ann Whalen, is the youngest and although she is spoiled and ditzy, she is also kind and compassionate, and can be very feisty at times.

They have to most realistic sibling relationships in the SFF universe.  They argue and fight, work together and separately, occasionally shoot each other, support each other and will always be there for one another. Despite their differences they love each other deeply.  They also make fun of each sometimes, like when Minerva strikes a pose and says “I’m bit tough Atlanta!” or when Atlanta is confused and asks Xavier to explain his plan “in Peri terms.”

Halfway through the series they find out that a time traveler they keep meeting during their various adventures, Xavier, played by very talented Russell Martin, is actually their long lost brother.  

This is actually foreshadowed in his interactions with each of the sisters at separate times as well as when he’s with all three of them.  After confronting Atlanta about her temper, he then comforts her when she falls apart emotionally. When Peri is shocked, belittled, and embarrassed by her ex-boyfriend, Xavier comforts her as well. When Minerva is being held hostage by an evil bandit leader, Xavier rushes to her rescue (only to discover she didn’t really need his help). 

All four siblings have a deep, strong bond and go through so much together.  When the sisters discover they have a brother and when Xavier finds out he has sisters it turns their worlds upside down and they begin a new adventure to understand each other as their family expands.  The siblings often do what they think is best for the others without realizing they are making the wrong decisions. Communication is key in all relationships and the Silverstones often get in trouble with each other because of a lack of it.

During the filming the actors developed a close relationship and some of them even felt more like siblings then just friends - particularly Morgan Thomas and Russell Martin.  That made it awkward when the two of them had to do a scene where Evil Minerva hits on Xavier in a disturbing, incestuous moment that left everyone on set – especially Morgan and Russell – seriously creeped out.

The show is as much about family as it is about time travel and there are more sets of siblings in The Gift Bearer then in any other production. There’s even a reunion movie made (and set) ten years after the series ends that follows up on the Silverstone siblings where we see their children and learn even more about all of them.

Obviously my main inspiration for all the siblings in Sine Fine Films – especially for the Silverstone siblings – is my own family.  I have three siblings myself – two sisters and a brother – and they are all truly amazing and wonderful people that have strongly influenced my writing as well as my life.

Tune in next year for the special Siblings Day post where I talk about the many sets of sibling actors who have filmed with SFF over the years.  Sine Fine Films is a family company in many ways!

Evolution of Filming, Part 3 - Sex in the Scripty

Every now and then I’ll be writing a post about certain things that evolved while filming over the past twenty years.  The vast majority of people in the cast and crew were in high school – including me - when everything started and many of those people still participate from time to time.  Being young and (in my case at least) somewhat sheltered I was not really (or at all) into drinking, smoking, sex, swearing, etc. But as I, and the others, matured (or in my case just got older), went to college, and included new and older company members, many of these things were slowly introduced into the productions over the years.   This is the third in a randomly published series about how and when those changes occurred and what level they’re at today.

Evolution of Filming

Part 3

From Fake Kisses and Cuddles 

to R-Rated Snuggles

Any kind of romance plotline will likely involve at least one kiss at some point, and maybe some cuddles.  Although there aren’t any actual R-rated scenes, there are definitely some serious PG-13 things going on in some of the productions. 

As with all the evolution posts like smoking and swearing, the physical part of the romance stuff started off very innocent. The sappy dialogue part of romantic subplots I pretty much nailed right away, of course, and a little sexual humor wasn't too far behind, but the physical stuff took a longer time to get more intimate on camera.

The very first movie – Destiny – was originally a romance with some action stuff (instead of the vice versa it came to be, thankfully).  There were a couple of almost kisses and fake kisses where one merged into the other to show a lapse of time (does that make sense?).  Anyway, it was obviously faked but looked okay. 

In Destiny II the romance between the married King and Queen was very much in the background, but was sweet.  There is only one real love scene between them, and the only physical expression of love in the traditional sense was holding hands and a hug.  However the issues of a sexual affair and infidelity were actually a major plot point, so sex was beginning to be mentioned in a round about way.  The word was never said out right, but I think the word seduced was used for the first time and more than once.

Destiny III had a lot of couples pairing up, so there were more love scenes with snuggles, hugs, and almost kisses. By this point I had perfected the two main fake-kiss forms.  The first is what I call the “dip-n-kiss”, where the guy dips the girl with his back to the camera so that we can’t see their faces, but a passionate kiss is implied. The second is the “interrupted” kiss where two people have their lips a few inches apart when something stops them from kissing – either another character, a loud noise, or one of them putting up their hand/pushing the other away.

The main lovers – Ketlan and Melantha – had the first very subtle “racy” moments introduced in an SFF production. There is some suggestive dialogue in one of their first scenes together and it ends with them sharing a look with each other and breaking away from the main group behind some bushes. Well, the characters have been married for twelve years and have two kids together, so sex is very definitely implied already. By the way, I’m pretty sure the “sneaking off behind the bushes” bit was the actors idea.

Frumpy Gets It – remembered mostly as the world’s worst movie – had several subplots with ex-lovers, multiple affairs, and some risqué elements, but since no one could hear what anyone was saying it got lost in the noise.  

The Dragon & The Unicorn had a romance central to the plot, but there were no kisses, only one interrupted kiss, some hand holding and some hugging. For the next few years there were no major steps forward in the area of romance at all.  In these years, not only did I master the art of sappy dialogue (King of Elflin’s Daughter takes the cake on that one), but various actors mastered the “dip and kiss” maneuver. 

Strangely, the one movie that is officially a romantic comedy (The Perfect Combination) where the romance is center stage, was far more comedy than romance and didn’t even include one scene where the lovers kissed, cuddled, or even held hands.  It was all done in dialogue. That is something I wish I could change, in all honesty.  I really think that movie needed an actually love scene, cheesy dialogue or not.

Mind Games was a trailblazer in many ways – including the first swearing and smoking on screen – but there wasn’t much romance since that wasn’t at all the point of the movie. It was a psychological thriller, after all.  There is suggested romance between Tilia and Talin (which includes a very suggestive line about a banana), and Tilia even mentions at one point that she loved Talin, but obviously given the situation (horror, insanity, and murder), nothing was ever going to happen and kisses were the farthest thing from being an option.

Then came Pandora’s Box, where a real kiss was actually seen onscreen for the first time in an SFF production (yay!).  Everyone had matured enough that kissing a fellow actor was no longer a big deal.  Margaret and Chris – as Cat and De Carlo – were the first onscreen couple that had a real kiss, and since it went so well I kept adding them in whenever I could (because Cat and De Carlo are my favorite romantic couple ever!).  The two characters even get married so kisses and cuddles happened a LOT, and Margaret and Chris were very good sports about it. 

Other actors were willing to follow suit, and although there were still the occasional fake kisses for various reasons (including comedic factor), overall the transition from fake kiss to real kiss was complete.

Considering most of the characters in Pandora’s Box were criminals, soldiers, or ex-soldiers, there were a lot of sexual innuendos (some subtle, some not so subtle). However, it wasn’t until Episode 12 of Pandora’s Box, filmed in the summer of 2000, that the word “sex” was actually said on screen.

 That’s right folks, it took five years for any character to say the word SEX.  

I’m not sure if it was because I was sheltered or just a prude, but it a while.

After that the floodgates were open, although it wasn’t until Dream Chasers and Eidolon that the raunchiness started getting out of control in the scripts.  Mind you, it had been pretty bad behind the scenes on the Curse, and gotten out of control on the sets by Gift Bearer.  What can you do? It was college.

The Curse had really only had one kissing scene, although at least two more were scripted but never filmed as part of the collateral damage from my breakdown.  However, Mordecai’s character – as the antagonist trickster archetype – had lot to say about sex, even if more than half of it was innuendo.

The character had been asleep for a thousand years, but his libido had apparently woken up before the rest of him.  He made a lot of sexual to Zandra in his first two episodes, especially in the tent scene. Since from the Middle Ages and existing only in the Dream World in spirit form, he obviously had no idea that sexual harassing a pretty girl is not sexy, it’s creepy.  He’d gotten a little better by his later appearances in the show, but still had a raunchy side.

The Gift Bearer introduced a new level of sexual creepiness with the main villain, Victor Drake. Although Mordecai enjoyed verbal sexual harassment, Drake leaned towards the physical route.  He also like to engage in sexually harassing comments, particularly towards Atlanta.  I decided while writing it that I wanted Atlanta and Drake to end up together, but the way the interact through most the show does not suggest a romantic ending.  Drake harasses her verbally and Atlanta keeps trying to beat the crap out of him.  It’s a very unrealistic pairing, and I’m changing it in the book.

The big creepadole factor with Drake is when he seduces 17 year old Peri, gets her drunk, and then appears to sleep with her and then drug her to forget about it. Of course, once he headed towards the not-so-villainous side I had to explain that he didn’t actually do that, and he had reasons for making her forget. Still creepy, Drake, still creepy.

I suddenly realized that at least two of my romantically involved villains/antagonists are big on sexual harassment and at least one of them ends up with the woman he’s harassing.  That’s not a good thing, and I’m a little disturbed with myself…

The Gift Bearer also has some other seduction scenes, and lots of on screen kissing.  There are quite a few sexual jokes – some of which were even in the script!  As I said, the majority of raunchiness was actually off camera for show though.

Although Eidolon has a lot of sexual humor and content, I still think Dream Chasers take the sexual cake.  It’s the first production where we see two people apparently naked in bed after clearly having sex.  The previous scene featured a slightly twisted make-out session (she slaps him, then she kisses him. That’s more confusing them twisted, I guess). 

Zoey Zurrell in Dream Chasers is the quintessential sexy-sassy vamp, so shacking up with the villain is pretty much a given according to narrative and melodramatic tropes.  She’s actually one of my favorite characters, and one of the things I like most about her is that she’s not afraid to be sexy.  She wears whatever she wants, sleeps with who ever she wants, and totally owns her sexual appeal.  She’s a kick ass woman who never tries to be anyone but herself.

Namtaru, the villain, by passes the verbal sexual harassment and goes straight to feeling up pretty much all the ladies in the show (well, he doesn’t feel up Atropos, since she’s the Goddess of Death and would kick his ass in a heartbeat.)  He tries to seduce all three female main characters, only one of which actually gets him anywhere. It’s also hinted that he and the other male main character may have had a sexual relationship centuries before the show.  Namtaru is truly horny, and is way creepy. There’s even a scene where he tries to rape one of the two leads, but is stopped before he can and gets seriously punished for it.  Even if I had wanted to turn him a good guy, which I didn’t, there was no way it would be possible at that point. 

Eidolon, of course, features both kissing scenes and a pre-sex make out scene with a post sex “hey we’re naked in bed so clearly we just did it” scene.  Maria, one of the main characters, even gets pregnant, so if there were any doubts about it before, there’s no question they had sex now. 

 Also there’s the wonderful character of Terri Madison, who hits on almost all the guys in the show at one time or another.  She has a huge crush on her favorite TV star, and she pretty much sexually harasses Mordecai when she meets him.  She stops once she gets to know him though.  The general idea of her being flirty was in the script, but Jen Weber played it up to humorous perfection.

So there’s a lot of sexual humor in most of the SFF TV shows, which has just continued to grow in my scripts since Destiny III.  I got the chance to make fun of my sappy dialogue, fake dip-and-kiss, and villain-turns-good-after-falling-in-love-with-the-heroine trope in The Cursed Destiny of Pandora’s Gift Box, so that was nice.

After Eidolon and Cursed Destiny, I only did short films .  One of the more raunchy short film is the two-part film of 2B and 4B in Quatrain.  It involves a half naked couple in the back of a pickup truck and dialogue of a mysterious sexual mishap. I did not write it, but serious props to Edward Stasheff who wrote Scene 4.  The scene had to be vague enough to be about anything, but use the same dialogue and in the scene he directed it’s hilariously suggestive. It’s hard to believe that a such a funny, sexy scene uses the same dialogue as a zombie film, a 1950s style science lab mishap, and a pair of ghost hunters with over active imaginations. Kudos, Ed. Kudos.

A lot of other short films - such as Twisted Tales: Charming, The Medea School of Melodrama, Fortunate Ones: Forever, and C2, have sexual jokes, innuendos, or sexy characters - sometimes all three.  However, there are two more short films that really stand out but for different reasons.

Little Red is one of the short films for the Twisted Tales collection.  The overall idea is to take a fairytale and put a different spin on it like switching genders, reformatting it, or setting it in a different time. Little Red is, obviously, a twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood, set in the modern era with a lot of changes to the story, and boy is it ever twisted.

It’s probably the darkest, creepiest film I’ve ever made and involves a sweet innocent young woman being seduced by a handsome, yet sinister and evil man.  He drugs her, rapes her, steals all her money, and forces her into a co-dependant life with him where he pimps her out and she ends up a hardened hooker with a deadly thirst for revenge.  Yeah, that’s dark. It’s also filmed in a somewhat artsy way.  It’s my dark, twisted Art House film, and an ode to the Noir genre.

I don’t want to end on a down note, so I have one more film to talk about.  This one belongs in the Fortunate Ones franchise (okay, short film collection, obviously it’s not a franchise).  Only You is – without a doubt – the raunchiest, sauciest, most lewd and bawdy production I have written, much less produced.  I think I used up all my sexy life points on this one because I haven’t written anything even remotely sexy since I filmed it. 

The basic concept for Fortunate Ones is that getting what you wish for doesn’t always work out well.  Only You is slightly different because the two main characters get the last thing they would ever want. They end up being the last two people on earth.  Imagine the only other person in the world is the ex-girlfriend/boyfriend you hated most.  Sex – for fun and for the future of humanity – is the central focus of the film, and it’s pretty hilarious if I do say so myself.  Although only half the humor comes from the script, the rest comes from the brilliant performances of Bryan Kieft and Brittany Ann Whalen.

So there you go!  We’ve gone from the dip-and-kiss to the post-sex, half-naked cuddle scene - from hints of secret sexy rendezvous, to bashing the audience over the head with my sexy subtle club. And now I’m sexy-scenarioed out, apparently, so that may be it for the bawdy hijinks.

Thanks for reading and go enjoy some sexy time (assuming you’re old enough – god I hope you are, you shouldn’t be reading this if you’re not).